Sissy Awakening Ch. 01

I lay on my bed naked. My head propped up on a pillow with my eyes pointing towards the ceiling. The morning sun streaked in through my bedroom window. Its searching rays reached out across the floor and walls, the warmth intensifying my already building internal heat as my hand moved furiously up and down over my erect cock. My mind was awash with images of last night's porn surfing experience. "That pretty voice, those perky tits, that long neck, her smooth skin, that gorgeous dick..." I murmured to myself.

I sat bolt upright. "That gorgeous dick?" I repeated with a look of puzzlement and incredulity.

Last night had begun just like any other. After getting ready for bed, I picked up my iPad for some mindless browsing. "Four more months of lockdown" read the news alert that appeared at the top of the screen. "Case rates remain 'forbiddingly high' according to Boris Johnson and so Britain must remain in full shutdown" I sighed and rolled over onto my front. This lockdown was really taking its toll. For the best part of a year, the country has been in varying levels of restrictions. Households have been banned from mixing, pubs and restaurants closed, and with that also my chances of finding a partner and escaping single life. Rubbing my eyes with tiredness, I could feel my cock stiffen slightly, aching to be touched, the head pushing against the mattress beneath. Yet with no girlfriend to alleviate my burgeoning member and growing arousal, I opted to find gratification through the internet instead.

My pornography fantasies had always centred around female domination and erotic humiliation, however, I was firmly convinced that these fetishes remain confined to the digital world. In line with this theme of power and control, I stumbled upon old category favourites such as "JOI" and CEI" While stroking myself in a wave of steadily growing pleasure, I watched as incredibly beautiful women flaunted their lithe figures in front of the camera, taunting my male impotence, inferiority, and subservience. Each insult hurled my way heightened my excitement. Alighting a devious flame inside me, I reached down to wipe a drop of precum that had emerged glistening from the tip of my cock. Following the instructions barked in the peremptory tone of the blonde goddess in front of me, I brought my finger to my mouth and extended my tongue, licking the syrupy liquid eagerly before withdrawing my tongue into the warm insides of my mouth.

"That's a good little slut. Aren't you a naughty sissy?" the woman chided mockingly.

I did feel naughty. However, in equal measure my curiosity was piqued. In all my time watching these videos, marveling at how verbal abuse could stimulate such arousal in me, I had never understood the meaning of the term "sissy" Like the goddess in the video had said, of course I was pathetic, of course I could please no woman with my undersized dick, but did that make me a sissy? What was a sissy?

It was at that point my night truly took a turn down the proverbial rabbit hole. The next half an hour saw videos titled "Sissy Slut" "Sissy Training" "Sissy Hypno" and all manner of other related content appear on my screen. My eyes widened with fascination, my body brimming with desire, as I scrolled avidly.

The key difference I noted with this new area of exploration compared with the fetish of female domination was the tonality. Rather than admonish and shame, this new genre of content seemed to praise and celebrate my fantasies. In fact, it provided me with a startling revelation that my sexual inadequacies were only a matter of perspective. All my life I had been viewing my sexual capabilities from the straight jacket of societal expectations. Of course, if I were to compete to demonstrate my ability to pleasure women through my virility then naturally, I would fail. My cock only measured a little over three inches, had difficulties sustaining an erection throughout intercourse, and suffered from premature ejaculation. It pains me to think of the poor few women who have had the misfortune to take me to bed after a night out, only to be left predictably unsatisfied. Instead, if I shifted the emphasis of sexual prowess from my cock, or rather sissy clit as I now knew it, towards by ass (now boipussy), then I could reinvent myself and my potential.

However, this, in turn, created more questions. If my sexual strength derived from my boipussy then how could I please women? After all, my boipussy could not give women the orgasms and sexual contentment they craved; that was a primal need that could only be addressed by real men with hard cocks, not limp clitties like mine.

Clicking through to a video titled, "Sissy Hypnosis" I was greeted with mellifluous, repetitive background music that seemed to lull my brain into a state of impressionable bliss. It was at this moment I inadvertently began my irreversible psychological transformation. Within seconds, the video was filled with women and shemales crying out with pleasure as they were fucked roughly by strong, muscly men. With each thrust, their ecstasy only seemed to grow, their heads flung back, eyes glazed over, and bodies convulsing with orgasmic contractions. Simultaneously, captions bombarded the screen such as "Don't you want to be like her?" "You love cock" "Put your boipussy to good use and serve men" "Be the whore you know you are"

I found myself inexpressibly aroused and like a lightbulb turning on inside my head, I experienced a life-altering epiphany. I was not the men in those videos, but the women being driven to inexorable pleasure by those gorgeous cocks. Given that my limp clitty is incapable of rendering pleasure to a woman and my boipussy cannot help with this either, the only sexual gratification I can provide is in the service of men. As if to confirm the rightness of my conclusions, my ass puckered with anticipation and my clitty oozed some more delicious precum. I smiled at my newly discovered status and my stomach clenched with giddy excitement - this had been my sissy awakening.

(Next instalment of "Sissy Awakening" coming soon)

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